I saw the message on my winmx screen, that beta 6 is available. I just closed everything and installed, chose (3.54) of which i have been using and the main screen still says beta 4.
Waiting for Incoming connection is normal for any download or upload.. its just a status, telling you that hey were trying to make a connection. What happens next is the important bit.. if its always turning red then there may be a problem.
Make sure your WinMX says Patch Operational at the top under were you see WinMX v.3.54 beta 4 - UL @ stuff KB/s <Online forever>
If you dont see that message in the bar under your WinMX versions information then let me know. I still am unsure if your on the correct patch to remove fakes from searches.