Here are a couple facts about Chuck Norris. Enjoy :->
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<in>!chucknorris</in>
<out>Chuck Norris can kill two birds with one dead baby.</out>
<out>Chuck Norris will be cloned in the 31st Century and defeat the invading aliens by playing the theme from "Walker, Texas Ranger" on the largest sound system the resistance can find.</out>
<out>When you and a group of strangers put on tights and stretch, it's called yoga. When Chuck Norris puts on tights and stretches, it's porn.</out>
<out>The Da Vinci Code is really a true tale about Chuck Norris impregnating Mary Magdalene, who gave birth to a child that ripped Jesus' face clean off.</out>
<out>When someone does Chuck Norris a favor, he never says, "Thank you" but only, "You're welcome" for allowing them to do a favor for Chuck Norris.</out>
<out>Chuck Norris made earth in seven days. He later sold the rights to God.</out>
<out>Chuck Norris passed the bar exam but decided not to become a lawyer. His reasoning was that the only law people followed rested within his right boot.</out>
<out>The love for Jesus lost most of its importance after Chuck Norris was born.</out>
<out>Instead of finding two of every animal, to save time, Noah simply one female of each species and then Chuck Norris onto the ark. The animal kingdom lives on.</out>
<out>Chuck Norris uses Linux because he is bored of breaking Windows.</out>
<out>The sun recieves its light, heat and energy from Chuck Norris.</out>
<out>Chuck Norris' sisters used to dress him in their dresses and put makeup on him. This practice came to an abrupt stop when Chuck turned 21 and decided that he was too old for that shit.</out>
<out>Lance Armstrong really didn't lose a testicle to cancer, he is actually the only living survivor to a Chuck Norris delivered round house kick to the balls.</out>
<out>If you rearrange the letters in Chuck Norris' name you can spell Chuck Norris. You can probably spell other things, but it will be the last anagram you ever do.</out>
<out>Every time Chuck Norris goes to the hospital, he is put in intensive care. This is not because Chuck Norris is hurt, it's because no one has the balls to tell him it's not a big deal.</out>
<out>At birth, Chuck Norris came out feet first so he could roundhouse kick the doctor in the face. Nobody delivers Chuck Norris but Chuck Norris.</out>
<out>Chuck Norris is the only individual powerful enough to resist the urge to tickle Elmo.</out>
<out>Chuck Norris has never been able to sleep with a woman, simply because his penis has roundhouse kicked all of his attempted partners into space.</out>
<out>The "Man in the Moon" is actually an imprint of Chuck Norris' face from when he head-butted a mountain into space. The cause for the head-butt was because the mountain was trying to be bigger than Chuck Norris.</out>
<out>Chuck Norris is the only one ever in history to stare Medusa straight in the eyes and not be turned to stone. The result was Roseanne Bar.</out>
<out>Originally, the universe was two dimensional. A roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris knocked a guy into the third dimension, dragging everything else with it from the force of the blow.</out>
<out>A man once fired a bullet at Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris swallowed the bullet and proceeded to drop his pants. Chuck Norris then bent over and fired the bullet out of his ass, blowing the man's head off.</out>
<out>A rich man once bet Chuck Norris a million dollars that he could not fight the toughest man in the world and remain undefeated. Chuck Norris accepted. The man said "Haha! I win! For YOU are the toughest man in the world, and if you kick your own ass, you will not be undefeated!" Chuck Norris was forced to travel 30 seconds into the future, kick the man's ass, and take all his money.</out>
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