HI Karenoke,
If your the same user from that WinMxWorld.com help room you can disregard most of this as we have already talked about it,
First off is to get that dsl modem set correctly. Yes folks I am phsychic.. or phsycho..lol
First visit here to get your internal IP, your ports you use, and some helpful hints about forwarding ports using porforward.com.
Help for Routers/DSL ModemsThe next stop will be to follow that link from there to PortForward.com to find your router or modem.
Once this is complete you need to also allow those ports in your XP firewall, the instructions can be found here:
XP FirewallsChoose the one for your system ie: service pack 1 or 2 and follow those steps.
Next is to make sure your Norton 2005 (if you have this) is also allowing WinMX through the Worm Protection.
Options > Internet Worm Protection > Control Programs > Add WinMX to the allowed list and Permit All.
If this still doesnt allow you a primary connection just let me know here or in the room and we will get ya fixed up ...