When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.
Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.
If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.
I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the Escape key.
Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level.
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and
better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning."
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac
Never accept a drink from a urologist.
Women need a reason to have sex -- men just need a place.
A committy is a group of the unwilling, picked from the unfit, to do the unnecessary.
Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Half of the people in the world are below average.
If you don't know where you are going, you will wind up somewhere else.
IF YOU GUESSED WHO IT IS PLEASE REPLY ........