There Will be a difference. But I don't think it does make much difference in VBR's. Because the thing is anyway changing. Generally, it's a balance between Quality and size. a 320 kbit file needs approximately 40 KB of space for 1 second. seemingly small.
But for a 5 min song, that means 11.5 MB of space. So it is better that you choose 128. There is really not much difference. Like KM said, if you want to squeeze more songs on a player, then it's better to have lower bitrate songs. But if you have a really big harddrive, then that space won't matter much
So finally >>>>
"165VBR, then download a 209 VBR"
I really doubt you'd be able to notice the difference in sound quality in these two cases. If you just want the song, then download 165. Less time (to download) and less space occupies. But if you want the best quality then settle for 209. But the difference will almost be impercitable. best advice: try both and see which suit you