The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's winners. Read them carefully.
Intaxication - Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it, was your money to start with.
Reintarnation - Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
Bozone (n.) - The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
Cashtration (n.) - The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
Giraffiti - Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
Sarchasm - The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
Inoculatte - To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
Hipatitis - Terminal coolness.
Osteopornosis - A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
Karmageddon - It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
Decafalon (n.) - The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
Glibido - All talk and no action.
Dopeler effect - The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
Arachnoleptic fit (n.) - The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
Beelzebug (n.) - Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out. And the pick of the lot -
Ignoranus - A person who's both stupid and an asshole!